ONCE UPON “ATYCHIPHOBIA”

There it is. In black and white... "Atychiphobia" described by mindtools.com as "when we allow [that] fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals" Well there you go... I'm summed up in a sentence! And lets be honest, if It's on google it must be true!

Attempt 5892 at my blog..? vlog....?blog......? vlog? Hidden amongst my procrastination with the rest of my fading dreams. When I look back over my attempts, I see flat lays of shopping adventures before youtube had even started #hauls. If I had followed my dreams and trusted my gut from the day I began over sharing, who knows where we would be?

But here I am 28 years old... finally sure of who I am and what I stand for. My brain is consumed by kids, husband, work, school, friends, family, (rare) social occasions, costumes, cheer, gymnastics and well you gift the drift... no more room for fucks to be given for what no longer serves a purpose to me. I am officially free.

We are the artists of our lives and we paint the picture of who we are. I use to feel like an imposter in my own life when I'd try to embrace the changes I wanted to make. "This is not me" I'd tell myself as I chewed on some Kale and sipped on some cold pressed juice, when in reality I'm dreaming of  a cheeseburger. Then one day I realised, we are just a reflection of choices we repeatedly make. Then I asked myself the most important question... What choice's am I going to make today?

I'll save you another paragraph and cut to the chaise... I decided to be my best self who always put her family first, loved on her husband and embraced every issue about myself that I had spent my entire life trying to deny. I learnt that Mr Grey isn't the only one with 50 shades to himself and being an over achieving perfectionist is my kryptonite. I LOVE to care for people and love the absolute shit out of every person in my life. Even the 'bad guys', they are the ones that teach us the most about ourselves. Feeling like I've helped someone is 'my happy place' and writing is my therapy. And I'm ok with all of this. In fact I love it.

So take this as my personal invitation into my life, whilst I most probably will get 'sharer's remorse' I have also already made peace with that. I have some amazing things to share with you and most probably a whole bunch of boring thing's in between. Unlucky for you I'm going to drag you along for the ride. I solemnly swear to commit to my honest (and obviously funny) blog and quit saving my creative energy for tomorrow.... because thanks to Ronan we all know what happens " If tomorrow never comes"

Anyways I am off. I hope you have enjoyed the ramble and until next time... 

Peace Out xx